Fist Excite

She who used to be alone now is no longer lonely. There is face who will say hi and bye. There is face for her eyes to look. She feels exciting. ‘Hi!’ said the face. ‘Hi’ she replied. ‘How are you?’ the face asked. ‘Good! You?’ she answered. As the conversation continue the more excited she got. The face asked her everything. Her days, feelings, emotions and even her doings. Smile always drawn on her face. She got even more excited and comfort. Just like a child who is capvitated by a chocolate. She began to expect another day, another story and waiting for what will the face ask. Then there was one day that is like a gift for her. Tempting her desire become wilder, excite her will become more eager. She imagine what will happen to the next day. What will they are talking about. What will they do. She who used to flee somewhere else. Now glued to that spot and refuse to move. It was her first time.

But who knows it was the turn over of her excite. The face changes, began to turn to another way, another direction, another things and another person. Now she has to say hi and bye first. She has to open the session first. She has to ask first and then it will begin. She began to loose an expectation and drew a distance. As if a saint wishpered, she is on fire. Increase her curiousity to another level. Every night she wondering why things are flip over. Blaming everything on hersef. Confusing her mind with bunch of burden.
There is something that caught her eyes. The face’s gaze. Somehow unusual. Those gaze that used to be so caring now as if a witch gave a spell on it those gaze seems so distant.   The face’s gaze, words, gesture and even voice feels like it belong to someone else now. She has been asking hundreds of questions to her mind. Makes the burden heavier as the distance between them grow bigger.

She came into a open nature with a tool that can capture memories. Hope she could find a strength to abandon her worries. Something caught her eyes. A cocoon that turned into a butterfly. Her eyes fixed for seconds, minutes even hours on that spot. She remembered about how she uses to be. She saw a lonely figure, a black silhouette who sat in the corner, who will move to another place as it get crowded. Who always felt alone even in the middle of crowd. Then the face came, she saw how herself changed after The face involved in her life. But then she also saw a sight where it told who The face was. A sight that completely different with who she was with The face that she expected. They were belong to the opposite part. Its painful but somehow reliefing, her burden seems lesser than before. She felt like she finally can stand up on a firm ground on a strong feet.

That painful sight become a reality. A bitter morning greeting. Now she realised that things were always the way they are now. She was blind because her excite feelings and over-expectation that made her forget to walk on the ground. Made her stay away from the reality.
‘You were my first excite. I’m thankful that you can change me into a better version. Therefore people change and so are feelings. Its painful but thank you for making me realise the reality.’ That was a last morning greeting with The face.


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