Had Gone

At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life

 

Ah I hate this…

I have been hate this annoying light for years. Cause  when you got a deep sleep because your soul and body are horribly tired,  you gonna wish to not have this light wake you up in such an early morning. I hate this light for always waking up my eyes, my body and my soul and forcing me to start my day.  I’ve got prayer, I wish to never wake up from my sleep but not being dead. Then this light never let me get my wish.

I hate it when my eyes are open cause at that very second I’ll realize that an empty spot in my life can’t seem to vanish. I’ve been looking for thing for years but still got nothing for it. Seems like this heart can’t look ahead or is it beacuse you’re the only one?

My life, now it look like so lifeless. The dream that I finally can reach seems become the only thing that keep me alive. The pain that I have to bear keep my soul screaming deep inside my heart. Luckly I’ve got this brain and this look that can always seems to deceive people that I’ve got no pain.

Time flies so quickly. The time of us being together sure is short. Those days, I had always feel like it passed so long since I had always treasure every second of it. I used to thought that if we spent the time so intimately, I will always feel like we are together forever. But now your voice, your touch, your warmth, your breath are not here, I realize that our time was really short. Now there is no eyes to stare at, no arms to hold, no shoulder to lean on and no warmth to melt this heart.

The world never knew. They have no memories of us. Everyone can’t seem to understand the emptyness that I have to bear right now cause you had gone. You had gone yeah you are… But the fame that you got makes people can’t seem to forget you. You sure were live in grace, your fame still hold the world to keep talking about you. To have the same life as you sure is hard. I wish between those talking there will be a word of courage. So even if they keep make me to remember you, at least there will be a word that also can courage me to look ahead. But then the world never knew, they never knew about us. The fame and the busy life that I got, can’t cover the fact that you had gone and that spot remains empty…

 

Fangirl

I wanna meet you

But not in crowd

Not because i screaming your name in ‘a sea of human’

Not in a middle of ‘a roaring huge place’

Not when you stand in such ‘gleaming place’

I wanna see you 

But not behind the screen

Not when I ‘eated’ by the crowd

Not when you show your admireable side

Not when you show your ‘fake’ side

I wanna admire you

But not as the star

Not as a ‘robot’

Not as ‘a smile faker’

Not as an extraordinary human

But as you as yourself

The you who show you ‘human nature’